Zeal For Truth

Churches around the country have become alarmed at the number of people from their congregations who have divorced—and they’ve decided to do something about it (besides whining). City-wide and county-wide churches are banding together to develop Community Marriage policies. In short, this means that clergy from participating churches refuse to perform “quickie” weddings and will not marry any couple until they have participated in a minimum amount of premarital counseling. The premarital counseling includes several months of marriage preparation classes, the use of testing instruments to learn more about each other, study of scripture, and meeting with a mentor couple.

Marriage Savers
Many Community Marriage Policies are patterned after those designed by an organization called Marriage Savers. This group began in 1996 and now boasts over 200 cities/counties which have made community marriage policies. The goal of the organization is to “prepare, strengthen, and restore” marriages. Their goals are achieved via two main emphases: encouraging communities to developing marriage policies and training mentor couples who can provide an example of a good marriage as well as real-life help in solving marriage difficulties. The organization believes that divorce can be avoided with community support. Their website includes many helpful resources, both personal and community-based. The founders also do not shy away from trying to sway public policy. They have posted articles calling for a change in the universal no-fault divorce laws and a challenge to presidential candidates to reduce welfare rolls.

An Example from Oregon
An organization called Every Marriage Matters was founded in June 2001 when over half of the clergy from Clackamas County in Oregon signed the Clackamas County Marriage Policy. They claim impressive results in just a short time, showing that a community working together can actually make a difference:

An increase in the health of marriage could be measured indirectly by a reduction in the divorce reate. The Clackamas County divorce rate fell by 15% during the first 4 years. As a matter of reference, over this same period, the US divorce rate dropped 5%.

It’s Just Between You and Me and Everyone
If it takes a village to raise a child, it also takes a village to keep a marriage together. It is faulty thinking that a marriage is just between two people or that a divorce is, either. I applaud those who see the bigger picture and are aware of how much divorce hurts individuals, churches, and even whole communities. I support those churches and communities who act on the premise that marriages benefit from the involvement of church and friends who provide good examples, good advice and good practical help in dealing with inevitable pressures and difficulties.