Zeal For Truth

To marry or not to marry seems to be the question on the minds of Americans aged 21 to 54 years. According to a recent New York Times article the number of married Americans in this age group, has declined for the first time as measured by the Census Bureau, while the proportion of Americans in every racial and ethnic group who were never married has continued to grow by double digits. More and more couples are choosing not to marry, opting instead for co-habitation.

Recent research confirms that Americans appear to be growing more and more disillusioned with marriage. Indeed, the National Survey of Families & Households conducted by the University of Wisconsin Center for Demography and Ecology, compared responses of 9,637 racially diverse sample household responses to questions about how couples described their relationships, how often they fought and over what, and how they would envision their lives if they separated. Prof. Kelly Musick, who helped analyze the data suggests the initial boost that marriage seems to provide fades over time, and what is keeping people together is their fragile love and commitment for each other. It is possible that what was once the “seven year itch” has become the “three year itch.” However, research showed that the median duration of first marriages that end in divorce remains a little more than seven years. It is any wonder that couples are choosing to delay marriage or simply live together remaining unmarried? Another reaction to the instability of marriage in the U.S. appears to be the growing trend towards arranged marriages, in hopes that it will solve the marriage dilemma.

These trends point to a larger problem, if lasting marriages are determined by love and commitment, why are so many people entering into marriage unable to maintain them? In fact, the U.S. Bishops of the Catholic Church in the United States recently began a campaign urging married couples to strengthen their marriages. The national ad campaign features couples from various U.S. cities talking about what they did that day for their marriage and points viewers and listeners to their healthy marriages website. However, a myriad of healthy marriage websites, including one by the U.S. Government seeking to provide marriage education programs don’t seem to be solving the problem. The fact remains that Americans who do choose to marry don’t know how to stay that way, and others simply don’t see marriage as viable long term solution to family life.