Author Archive for Sadie

Divorce: The Great Divide

Today, my attention was drawn to an article detailing the ramifications of divorce and children caring for aging parents. In her article, The New Alone, Eliabeth Marquardt begins to confront the way the problem of divorce manifests itself for both children and adults. Too often today, divorce is touted as a better alternative for all parties involved than a bad marriage. Interestingly, the option of divorce remains a dilemma. Is it really better?

As a child of divorced parents, I’m just as tired as the next person of hearing doom and gloom statistics about the consequences of divorce. No person is simply a statistic waiting to fall into catastrophe based on the past. In fact, statistics indicate that half of all marriages end in divorce and the chances for divorce increase based on the length of time married, among other factors. Coming from a divorced family does not necessarily doom anyone to future failure. Thankfully, we all have free will and can make our own choices.

However, the past does affect the way a person makes choices and what a person learns. As such, it is important to understand the way that divorce affects both children and participating adults. Divorce is much more than the separation of a husband and wife, it is a great division of the family unit for parents and children. Often when parents divorce both parents turn to looking after themselves and their child/children. It’s not uncomment to see articles that share good information on helping children and parents handle divorce. These types of articles do a great job of discussing depression and psychiatry, yet they fail to address the change in world view that occurs when parents divorce.

Divorce is defined as the dissolving of a marriage agreement which united and created a new family unit. When the members of a family are involved in a divorce the unity of the family (no matter how dysfunctional) is broken. The adults learn to be independent from one another, and children learn to be independent of the family. A child whose parents divorce no longer hold a familial world view. Instead they learn to look out for themselves as they dodge the battles between warring parents, remarrying parents, and newly broken or blended families. Independence in and of itself is not bad, in fact at times it can be quite healthy and helpful. However, it appears that independence from the family unit and from the benefits of familial interdependence at a young age can be harmful for all parties involved, especially children. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, divorce of the family unit and it’s consequences are not repaired or replaced over time.

Education Reform & Republican Presidential Candidates

I am a teacher in the public school system with an M.Ed from the University of Oregon. Over the last several years, I have seriously studied the American educational system and worked in it as a kindergarten and first grade teacher. These are my thoughts on the educational policy statements made by some Republican Candidates for President. I wanted to include all candidates in this article, however after three weeks of researching and writing it, I have decided to publish it as is.

Parents and teachers alike should look closely at candidates statements on educational policy. Many candidates make “feel good” statements offering little or no solution as to how they actually plan to implement their grand ideas for improving the state of public education. Additionally, candidates often have track records in other areas that set a precedent that suggests how they might handle or implement their educational policies. It is also important to remember that most people view education in one of two ways:

Education is the role of the state: the government is ultimately responsible for educating children, and as such is also responsible for the quality and regulation of education across the board: public schools, private schools, home-school laws. Thus, because the state has total authority, secular state values supersede parental values.

Education is the role of parents: a child’s guardians or parents are ultimately responsible for educating children, and as such are also responsible for the quality and regulation of their children’s education regardless of if they attend private, public, or home schools. Thus, because the parents have total authority, parental values supersede secular state values.

Rudy Giuliani
Giuliani claims he wants to reform the public school system by allowing parental choice via vouchers or charter schools (which are publicly funded and thus government controlled schools). These are not subject to the same regulations as other public schools, and there are a number of problems with them. For example, most students are unable to enroll in such a school as there are long waiting lists and the state controls how many charter schools can be created.

  • Real Actions: He recently created an “Educational Advisory Board” to work on school choice, although he claims that parents should be the ones making the choice on how to educate children. Creating an advisory board (such is the function of the Dept. of Education) is relatively harmless, although I fail to see how this board full of government people is a step towards parental choice and control (seems like creating more government bureaucracy to me.)
  • Guiliani has proposed to open schools on weekends for remedial students to catch up. This idea sounds a little backwards, especially considering how poor the schools were to begin with in New York. If the schools were not working for children attending them Monday through Friday, how will sending them for an additional day using the same methods make a difference?
  • He started a Charter Schools Initiative.
  • Guiliani also sought greater power and control over Schools. This means greater government and less local control as the legislation would have given power over to mayors instead of school boards, yikes!
  • Guiliani also created the Bilingual Education Task Force. This move also maintains the idea of reform coming down from the top levels of government, i.e. more centralized government control is the solution to failing schools. However, Giuliani does appear to at least be consistent in his statements.
  • He views education as a “civil rights” issue. This is NCLB language by the way, but, I’ve got to hand it to him on opposing the teachers unions, that takes some guts. In all, Guiliani talks some semi-interesting talk, but his actions or attempted actions don’t always match up in the end.

Mike Huckabee
Huckabee wants to release “Weapons of Mass Instruction” in arts and sciences and believes schools should be judged by “results” (does not say what these results should be based upon, standardized tests or what?). He takes credit for raising test scores as governor and claims to support parental choice, to want more charter schools and wants a “clear distinction” between federal and state roles in NCLB.”States must be allowed to develop their own benchmarks,” according to Huckabee. However, he is either grossly misinformed or he is just repeating republican rhetoric because states currently DO set their own standards under NCLB (that promise won’t be hard to achieve). As such, he supports NCLB as it stands today, which has significantly increased the role of the federal government in regulating and controlling schools - minimizing local control. Ultimately, NCLB will lead to federalized government schools that offer a nationally standard curriculum. Huckabee also claims to strongly support homeschoolers. He recently answered many questions regarding his educational policy. Huckabee does not believe that vouchers are practical and prefers improving public schools instead.

  • Real Actions: Passed the Omnibus Education Act 2003 in Arkansas which allowed the State to consolidate nearly 200 of the state’s 308 school districts as a way to afford a broader curriculum. This legislation effectively replaces local school boards and gives broader authority to the state.
  • Created the Smart Start, Smart Step, and Next Step programs, which put state selected facilitators in schools to help guide the principal and teachers in their professional development. From what I understand, these programs increase state control of teacher development and school wide goals as opposed to a teacher/principal himself choosing how to further their education.
  • He helped revise Arkansas’ public Charter School law in 1999. Charter schools are promoted as school choice, however, they are in fact a “faux choice” because of limited enrollment opportunities as well as the fact that they are public schools and cannot opt out of state control and state laws.
  • He supported the creation of Teacher-of-the-Year legislation which makes the teacher an ex-officio member of the state Board of Education and allows the teacher to travel across the state training others during the school year. Yes, that makes sense, if you have a good teacher, by all means pull them from the classroom to do state sponsored bureaucratic activities.
  • Huckabee raised teacher salaries and public school funds at the expense of taxpayers. Now, that’s nice but it is certainly not small government, nor is it supportive of true school choice as it simply reinforces the government monopoly on education.
  • Based on these kinds of actions, it’s really no surprise that the NEA has endorsed him. I happen to belong to this teacher’s union (as mandated by my state) and I know for a fact that this union believes that education is the role of the state, and is anti-homeschooling, anti-school choice and vouchers.
  • Huckabee signed and allowed Arkansas state legislature to pass new laws that were more restrictive for homeschooling families.
  • Huckabee opposed a legislative proposal by the Murphy Commission (a think-tank he started) to reform the education system and start a voucher system in the state of Arkansas. Huckabee may “believe” that parents should be able to make a choice, however, he certainly does not act on that belief.

Continue reading ‘Education Reform & Republican Presidential Candidates’

Global Warming: The Real Crisis

Global warming is perhaps the most discussed “global” issue in news media today. Turn on the radio, television, or hop onto the internet and somehow the issue of global warming is waiting to be debated or touted as the impending crisis of the 21st century. However, the real crisis behind the issue of global warming is freedom.

Never mind that global warming proponents would like to control your car, where and how often you drive, how much energy you consume, where you live, and all things livestock related, society nods their head and tips their hat to such notions. After all, no one really minds as long as these are suggestions or “encouragements.” Enthusiasts discuss their ideas and most people replace at least one light bulb in their house.

Politicians around the world are lobbying for better climate control laws via global treaties such as the Kyoto Treaty. In fact, the U.S. Congress is working on legislation surrounding climate change. However, aside from emission-control state laws most legislation has a small trickle down affect being aimed at corporations rather than individuals. The hat tipping and light-bulb changing continues and family life is relatively unimpacted.

Stop to consider for a moment what would happen if these aforementioned “encouragements” became law. How these laws would be enforced? The only way to enforce climate change laws is to restrict the freedom of individuals. Once a suggestion becomes law, the choice to comply is removed or rather, it is becomes a non-choice of compliance or penalty. Perhaps many people would not mind small penalties for using non-incandescent bulbs in their homes. In fact, most people don’t mind that cars are mandated to be more fuel efficient. Yet, the philosophy behind global climate change legislation is dangerous. The implication behind the “need” for such laws is that of removing the choice from individuals and giving control to governing authorities.

It grows immediately more concerning when such ideas potentially impact entire families on a personal level. Recently, politicians and professors in both Australia and Britain suggested that population control and baby carbon taxes should be strongly considered. Australian editor, Michael Cook explains:

The Aussie proposals may sound wacky, but in truth they are the logical conclusion to today’s trend for measuring humanity by its waste and ‘carbon footprint’. After all, if human life is seen as fundamentally polluting, then why shouldn’t the creation of new human life be viewed as irresponsible and problematic?

The viewpoint of regulating individual actions is based on the idea that others have the right and responsibility to control your choices and penalize you accordingly. It goes beyond choosing to calculate your carbon footprint to deciding who has a right to reproduce and breathe air. It assumes that life is owned by a collective group of strangers rather than one’s self.

“While every individual should be cherished, mankind’s reproduction is akin to the replication of a virus. We are swamping the planet and devouring its resources.”-North West England MEP, Chris Davies

The first loss of personal freedom may just be a light bulb, or car, however it when carried further it will inevitably lead to the marginalization of the natural rights to life and liberty and possibly the loss of both.

Does It Matter What Christians Watch?

In the past two weeks, the Christian community has been in an uproar with discussions about The Golden Compass movie. In contrast, the movie Bella is being touted as elevating Christian principles. Christians and non-Christians alike disagree about what is appropriate for believers in terms of movie and television viewing. Obviously, ruling out pornography etc. is there a clear standard? Does what Christians watch make a difference?

The Impact on Others
Some argue that it makes no difference, citing Romans chapter 14 in regards to liberty in Christ. It is argued that those stronger in the faith should defer to those weaker in faith when it comes to stumbling blocks. Still many others promote life-style evangelism and suggest that Christians should abstain from watching and listening to secular entertainment. This article certainly does not seek to suggest that Christians should try and convert others without directly sharing the gospel.

However, the shows and books that Christians watch can impact non-believers. Christians are supposed to be set apart from the world, to be ambassadors for Christ. And, it is important to remember that as ambassadors, we are being watched ourselves.

The t.v. shows and movies that Christians watch can discredit their own testimony or even the testimony of the church. Too often, non-believers justify their own sin by pointing to hypocrisy within the church. They see no difference between Christianity and other religions. But, there should be a visible and audible difference! Christians are called to keep their own hearts with diligence.

The Impact on the Christian
Christians themselves are impacted by what they watch in movies, on television, or even the internet. The apostle Paul exhorts believers not to give hearty approval to those who practice unrighteous things. Yet, how often do Christians give approval to inappropriate television shows, movies, and books by watching or purchasing them?

I personally have only just recently been prompted to realize that my own viewing habits were not God glorifying or healthy. One of my favorite comedy shows is hilarious, I just about roll on the floor every time I watch it. In the past, I have given hearty approval to this particular television show. I’ve downloaded episodes, I’ve encouraged my friends to watch it. It wasn’t until reading through the list of unrighteous things that I realized this seemingly harmless comedy show promotes:deceit, malice, gossip, slander, and hatred of God through many of it’s spoofs. And the list got worse the closer I looked! The hosts of this show themselves are insolent, arrogant, boastful, untrustworthy, unloving, and unmerciful in their attitudes towards others. By watching this show, I have been guilty of developing a partnership with lawlessness and darkness. Participating, even promoting this show has unequally yolked me with the world.

My initial reaction to this was disbelief. I questioned myself, come on, it’s really harmless. Then I realized that it discredits my testimony, and moreover it hardens my heart towards un-believers because it highlights society’s flaws. It’s easier to laugh at the ways of the world, than to love the people in it and have compassion on them.

Perhaps some Christians are not affected by watching this particular show. However, Christians should consider how they might be affected by their own viewing habits. Christians are commended to think on things that are: true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise. Christian viewing habits should reflect and help grow hearts that value the message of salvation through Christ.

Feminism & The Happiness Gap

It may come as a surprise to some to read that men are now happier than women. Scientific research is showing that the feminist revolution has appeared to yield depressing results. Two studies in particular indicate that perhaps we haven’t “Come along way, baby!”

It comes as no surprise that the reaction of the media is to uphold feminist values. According to a NY Times article, the real problem isn’t that women are finding their “equal” roles aren’t making them happy, it’s really that men aren’t pulling their fair share. However, a closer look reveals:

On average, women are less happy with their marriage than men and women have become less happy with their marriage over time. However, men have also become less happy with their marriage over time and thus, the gender gap in marital happiness has been largely stable over time.

It is interesting to juxtapose these trends in satisfaction in work and family life with time use data describing the commitment of men and women to the domestic and market spheres. Robinson and Godbey (1999) show that women decreased the time they spent each week doing housework and childcare by more hours between 1965 and 1985 than they increased their hours in the labor force. During the same period, men’s hours doing housework and childcare rose by 4 hours. Between 1985 and 2000, fathers continued to increase their time doing housework and childcare, while mothers’ time doing housework continued to decrease. Women still do more household labor than men, but they have been doing less every decade. ~ Stevenson & Wolfers, pg. 72

Similarly, Alan Krueger, Professor of Economics and Public Affairs at Princeton University, recently completed the study Are We Having More Fun Yet? which focuses on categorizing and evaluating changes in time allocation for men and women using historical data collected from 1965 through 2005. The study reports:

For men, however, there has been a gradual shift away from activities that are associated with unpleasant feelings, primarily because of a downward trend in paid work and an upward trend in more “affectively neutral downtime” activities, such as “relaxing/doing nothing” and watching television. For women, a decrease in household chores has been accompanied by an increase in market work and in time spent in neutral downtime activities. ~Krueger, pg. 12 (emphasis mine)

By these accounts women spend less time at home doing “mundane” household chores and more time outside of the home in the workplace. Meanwhile, men have picked up some of the slack and simultaneously increased their leisure time. It would seem that women should be rejoicing over their escape from domesticity.

Yet trends in self-reported subjective well-being indicate that women are less happy today than they were in the 1970s.This finding of a decline in women’s well-being, both absolutely and relatively to that of men, raises questions about whether modern social constructs have made women worse off, or alternatively about the interpretability of subjective well-being data analyzed over long-time periods. ~Stevenson & Wolfers, pg. 20

Perhaps these trends relate to findings that report from 1965-66 to 2005, working-age American women increased the amount of time spent working for pay, watching television, and caring for adults while they reduced the amount of time spent cooking, cleaning, entertaining friends and reading books (Krueger, pg. 2.) However, the decreasing happiness of women has been found to effect more than the working-age woman.

Turning to the more specific questions, the common thread appears to be that 12th grade girls increasingly find themselves to be under time pressure, with both absolute and relative declines in reported satisfaction with “time for doing the things you want”, “the way you spend your leisure time”, and “the amount of fun you are having”. Interestingly, there is also a substantial decline in the proportion of these young women reporting satisfaction with “friends and people you spend time with.” The only domain in which girls experienced an absolute increase in well-being is in satisfaction with their personal safety. ~Stevenson & Wolfers, pg. 4

Both studies indicate that women have become increasingly unhappy with their current roles in society. Apparently, women young and old are no longer doing the things that result in personal satisfaction in their own lives. Despite the “progress” in decreasing the glass ceiling of wage gaps, educational attainment, fertility control, improvements in technological changes in domestic appliances, and more freedom in the market sphere, women are not any happier. Instead, career-women, failing marriages, neglected children, unkempt homes and general unhappiness are the hallmarks of feminism.

Do You Need A Spiritual Makeover?

Christians are supposed to be walking in the footsteps of Christ. Have you stopped recently to consider if you need a spiritual makeover? Journalist A.J. Jacobs took it to the extreme. Newsweek recently published an interview in which Jacobs expounds on his year-long commitment to following all biblical rules and statues. Interestingly, Jacobs reports that he enjoyed his experience and even misses it:

I miss my sin-free life, but I guess I was never sin free. I was able to cut down on my coveting maybe 40 percent, but I was still a coveter. Flat-screen TVs, the front yard of my friend in the suburbs, a better cell phone, higher Amazon rankings. And that’s not to mention coveting my neighbor’s wife. I live in New York, I work in publishing, so there’s a lot of coveting, lying and gossiping.

Isn’t it interesting that Jacobs admits despite the best of his abilities (obviously he was dedicated) he could not cut sin out of his life? To live as Christ, to live a sin free life is impossible. A spiritual make-over is more than just “being good” as Jacobs puts it.

So what does a real spiritual make-over entail? In Ephesians 5, Paul provides a great heart-check section for believers. Among which he exhorts Christians to:

  • And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. (Eph. 5:2)
  • Find out what is acceptable to the Lord. (Eph. 5: 10)
  • Walk circumspectly, wisely, and redeem the time. (Eph 5:15-16)
  • Understand the will of the Lord (Eph 5: 17)
  • Speak to one another is psalms, spiritual hymns and songs (Eph 5: 19)
  • Give thanks in Christ to God always for all things (Ephs 5: 20)
  • Submit to one another in fear of God (Eph 5: 21)
  • Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord (Eph 5: 22)
  • Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church (Eph 5:25)

This spiritual list shows the biblical way to be imitators of Christ, and is built upon the premise that one must first accept God’s sacrifice on their behalf. The Christian spiritual makeover, the truly biblical life, begins with a radical world view change that no matter how hard you try, you cannot be good according to God’s standards.

Where Have All The Homemakers Gone?

For decades the modern housewife or homemaker has been relegated to an afterthought. Most women today, feel that they don’t have a choice to stay-home once they have children, much less, when they are childless. All too often, mothers who stay at home with their children encounter the question, “well, what do you do all day?” My very dear friend, feels infuriated each time she is asked this question because what she does is provide her children with a stable, clean, nutritious, healthy home environment. She is the heartbeat of her home. Her job is endlessly important.

Most twenty-something women, don’t consider being a stay-at-home mother an important or worthy career. In fact, they claim they don’t consider it a career at all. Yet,these same women are considered the “working wounded” because, as one article puts it, they don’t have a choice. The term,” working wounded” correctly interprets the way in which many working-mothers feel.

The Pew Research Center recently released a survey that shows mothers who work full time rate themselves lower on the question, “How good a job do you feel you’ve done so far as a parent?,” than mothers who work part time or who stay home.

Society has strayed so far into feminism that today women feel they don’t have a choice due to the economy. For many it seems virtually impossible to own a home or raise a family on one income. In fact, most young women today are not willing or even prepared for motherhood, often leading to Mommy Shock, in which they are unhappy with juggling daycare, full-time careers, marriage and motherhood. The result, according to Reuters National Marriage Project, is a decline in lasting marriages and a loss of child-centeredness for the nation. They report:

Marriage has fallen by the wayside, in part, because it receives less and less social recognition and approval. Any norm of behavior requires for its maintenance the continuing support of the community, including active social pressures to uphold it. When social approval and pressures wither, the norm weakens.

Is it any wonder that housewives and stay-at-home moms are disappearing? Southern Baptist Theological Seminary considers the problem important enough to establish a new homemaking course of study.

“We are moving against the tide in order to establish family and gender roles as described in God’s word for the home and the family,” Patterson said at the denomination’s annual meeting in June. “If we do not do something to salvage the future of the home, both our denomination and our nation will be destroyed.

The homemaking program endeavors to prepare women to the model the characteristics of the godly woman as outlined in scripture. It includes courses on hospitality, interior design, cooking, sewing, child rearing, and culinary arts. Programs such as these offer young women who may otherwise not have an opportunity to study the seemingly lost art of creating a home.

Marriage, A Dying Institution

To marry or not to marry seems to be the question on the minds of Americans aged 21 to 54 years. According to a recent New York Times article the number of married Americans in this age group, has declined for the first time as measured by the Census Bureau, while the proportion of Americans in every racial and ethnic group who were never married has continued to grow by double digits. More and more couples are choosing not to marry, opting instead for co-habitation.

Recent research confirms that Americans appear to be growing more and more disillusioned with marriage. Indeed, the National Survey of Families & Households conducted by the University of Wisconsin Center for Demography and Ecology, compared responses of 9,637 racially diverse sample household responses to questions about how couples described their relationships, how often they fought and over what, and how they would envision their lives if they separated. Prof. Kelly Musick, who helped analyze the data suggests the initial boost that marriage seems to provide fades over time, and what is keeping people together is their fragile love and commitment for each other. It is possible that what was once the “seven year itch” has become the “three year itch.” However, research showed that the median duration of first marriages that end in divorce remains a little more than seven years. It is any wonder that couples are choosing to delay marriage or simply live together remaining unmarried? Another reaction to the instability of marriage in the U.S. appears to be the growing trend towards arranged marriages, in hopes that it will solve the marriage dilemma.

These trends point to a larger problem, if lasting marriages are determined by love and commitment, why are so many people entering into marriage unable to maintain them? In fact, the U.S. Bishops of the Catholic Church in the United States recently began a campaign urging married couples to strengthen their marriages. The national ad campaign features couples from various U.S. cities talking about what they did that day for their marriage and points viewers and listeners to their healthy marriages website. However, a myriad of healthy marriage websites, including one by the U.S. Government seeking to provide marriage education programs don’t seem to be solving the problem. The fact remains that Americans who do choose to marry don’t know how to stay that way, and others simply don’t see marriage as viable long term solution to family life.

D.C. Voucher Program Results Impressive

As an elementary school teacher in the public education system, I am required to join the local (OEA) and national (NEA) teacher unions. Recently, the NEA celibrated “150 years in education,” and all of their “accomplishments” as a union and how far the United States has come in the past century in terms of educating children. Quite frankly, I was dumbfounded. Recent history alone has shown that Americans are increasingly appalled at the state of education in our country. So much so, that President George Bush ran on an education platform in the 2000 election and won the presidency promising to enact the “No Child Left Behind” legislation.

Since that legislation, debate has raged in favor of improving public education through federal law or de-federalizing education to a certain extent through the use of vouchers and other school choice options. It is fair to say that parents are often unhappy with the level of education their children are recieving in the public education system.

Recently a trial voucher program was piloted in the District of Columbia in Washington D.C. The Washington Post reports that this voucher program provides $ 7,500 vouchers (about half the average public expediture per student in the D.C. area) to 1,800 K-12 students who live in the D.C. area and come from low income families to transfer to private schools and escape the troubled D.C. public schools. A study conducted by the U.S. Department of Education’s Institute of Educational Sciences was released recently. The report studied five key outcomes of the D.C. Opportunity Scholarship Program: school differences; academic achievement; parental perceptions of school satisfaction and safety; student reports of school satisfaction and safety; and the impact of using a scholarship.

Key findings of the report include:

  • After one year, there was no clear evidence of a statistically significant difference in test scores between students who were offered a scholarship and students who were not offered a scholarship, over the seven month school year.
  • Overall, students who were offered the scholarship were performing in math and reading at levels comparable to students not offered a scholarship;
  • The study’s results showed a positive impact on math achievement for two subgroups of students: students who had not previously attended a D.C. public school classified as in need of improvement and students with relatively higher baseline test scores.
  • The Program had a substantial and consistently positive impact on parental satisfaction and their perceptions of school safety.
  • Of the parents whose child received a scholarship, 74% gave their child’s school a grade of “A” or “B” compared to 55% of parents whose children did not receive scholarships.

It would seem then, looking at these facts, that the voucher program was sucessful in its first year because students maintained reading scores, gained in math scores, met parental expectations, and managed to do this in a period of seven months. Remember, this was done with approximately half the funds that would have been spent of these students in the same year in public schools.

Others, such as Washington Post reporters Amit R. Paley and Theola Lab disagree, their article cites voucher programs as being irrelevant and goes so far as to suggest that vouchers programs have recieved a failing grade.

The Role of Christian Women Today: Biblical Womanhood

If you embarked upon a quest to discover the role of women in American society today, you would find many answers: career-women, mothers, wives, single, married, sisters, daughters, grandmothers, artists, coaches, teachers, and entrepreneurs to name just a small portion. As time marches on, women have taken on many additional roles to the traditional gender roles of past eras. Many women today are left striving to be super-mom, juggling the conflicting expectations of career and motherhood. In fact, 70% of women in the United States in 2005 worked outside the home, juggling the demanding expectations of industry and family life which can be overwhelming.

According to a survey conducted of 1,124 mothers employed full time, 25% are dissatistfied with their work-life balance and 23% report that they missed three or more significant events in their child’s life in the last year, 44% reported they would take a pay cut to spend more time with their kids.

The newest media label for highly educated, professionals who are also mothers is “Alpha Mom.” The Washington Post describes her, “She wields a BlackBerry in one hand, an additional cell phone in the other, and when she’s not sitting behind the wheel of her SUV (a Hummer fits the image nicely), she’s parked in front of her laptop doing “consumer research” (aka shopping).

The responses of women feeling torn and dissatisfied trying to balance home and life comes as no surprise. In fact, it begs the question, are we better off with a dual focus? Has feminism (You’ve come along way, baby!) brought us to a more peaceful and fulfilled place in the lives of our families? Pondering these questions often leads to the confusion for today’s modern Christian women, because the biblical perspective goes against the grain of what society currently expects.

The Bible provides both a challenging and balanced approach for gender roles, both male and female. Evidence of these gender roles are more than societal norms, they are seen in the very first creation of life. He created them, male and female, with complementary roles and specific purposes and designs in all areas. God’s master plan had balance and harmony in the first family. In his essay, Male & Female Equality & Male Headship, Raymond C. Ortlund, Jr. explains:

But the very fact that God created human beings in the dual modality of male and female cautions us against an unqualified equation of the two sexes. This profound and beautiful distinction, which some belittle as “a matter of mere anatomy,” is not a biological triviality or accident. It is God who wants men to be men and women to be women; and He can teach us the meaning of each, if we want to be taught.

When we examine the meaning of what God’s design is for women, it becomes clear that women have the equal calling of serving with a focus on home and family. Women are built physically as nurtures of life. Moreover, the woman praised as virtuous in Proverbs 31 is commended for watching over the affairs of her home, and working eagerly with her hands and mind inside and outside to help her family prosper. However, the main focus of her efforts is trained on managing her household, not her career.

Paul instructs older women to teach younger women how to love their husbands and children, and how to be homemakers. The bible is clear that God’s role for women is to be helpers and nurturers of life. As Christian women, we need to remember our divine calling, not to be alpha-mothers, or dazzling career women, or burnt-out housewives. Our calling is greater; we are to be the caretakers of all that is cherished in family life and home. We may need to work and be helpers outside of the home, but at least we can rest assured and know where our focus lies. We don’t have to be adrift in the sea of self-doubt, guilt, or depression when we embrace God’s call on our lives as women—we triumph! Home is where our hearts should return. Here are some resources for encouragement that have encouraged me to focus my heart in the right direction:

Being Virtuous Women

The Homekeepers Heart

Noble Womanhood

Biblical Womanhood

A Virtuous Woman


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