This is part of an eight part series on the importance of fellowship. Read the other parts here:
Part 8: Unconditional Love
Part 7: Honesty
Part 6: Fighting Superficiality
Part 5: Sanctification
Part 4: Why You Need It (Yes You)
Part 3: Dealing With A Dead or Dying Church
Part 2: Accountability
Part 1: Introduction
I have only switched churches once in my life – and this was not out of any significant doctrinal disagreements, personal problems or discipline – but simply due to an international relocation. We also had plenty of time to select a new church, as we had over a year to prepare for the move. Our criteria for a new church included the following:
- sound biblical teaching, with an emphasis on exposition and inductive methodology
- contemporary, “spirit-led” worship
- emphasis on complementarianism
- evangelism-minded
- small to moderately sized (50-300 persons)
What is missing from the list? At the time, we didn’t even really consider it as an issue of fundamental importance – but fellowship has now become something that is absolutely essential to any church that we are part of. In fact, it has become so primary that our entire view of what “church” is has been changed – to the point where the terms “fellowship” and “church” are functionally inseparable.
What Fellowship Is Not
Part of the reason we came to care less about fellowship was because biblical fellowship takes a very explicit and purposeful effort on behalf of all Christians (leadership and members) in both theological understanding and biblical application. Some churches suffer from theological ignorance (this is not meant to be derogatory) – they do their very best to apply fellowship, but, not having a grasp on that thing which they should apply, their application is a crapshoot at best. Or they understand what biblical fellowship is but are either unwilling to apply it or struggle to understand how to do this.
Where there is ignorance of fellowship, the word “fellowship” will be still be in operation, but it will describe something other than fellowship. It might be potlucks and campouts, church softball games and barbecues or even group retreats and bible studies. But simply being around other Christians is hardly fellowship – non-Christians do this all the time. They gather in groups. They share common interests. They talk.
In his chapter on fellowship in Why Small Groups? (a book I recommend for any Christian, and daresay, would almost mandate for any leader), John Loftness says the following:
In its neglect, Christians have redefined fellowship to mean any warm human interchange — especially when we make connection with someone and discover that we have common interests, experiences, or viewpoints. …Fellowship is not (at least not necessarily) going to a Bible study with someone, or sharing doctrinal commitments, or attending a Christian men’s rally where emotions run deep and passions are high. Fellowship is not found in a “group therapy” session where participants reveal their darkest thoughts—even if everyone in the group is a Christian and brings a Bible. In fact, two Christians can be married to one another and still not experience fellowship.
Consider the last line. People could live together, share meals with one another, bear their souls and even be physically intimate and not be in fellowship.
My Own Account
One of the things about our new church that struck me, almost instantly – was the fellowship, only at the time I didn’t realise this is what attracted me. In fact, I had pretty much given up on fellowship – or at least what I had come to accept as the biblical definition of the term.
For example, I don’t like small talk. I don’t care what you think of the weather. I didn’t come to church to chat with you about the local sports team. Your smile seems fake to me. And I don’t get the impression you care about me when you ask me a couple quick questions, pat me on the back and then move on to the next person to repeat the same routine with them.
Why would I stick around before and after church for this?
Perhaps I want to know what God is doing in your life – and not just that “God is good” – but how is he good? Perhaps I want you to help me with an area where I am weak. Maybe I need a word of real encouragement. Maybe I would like to have a discussion where we consider the grace of God, and how we can know more about it. Maybe we might take some time to work through the finer points of the second coming, how it will look and challenge one another to eagerly await it. It may be that we need correction from one another.
I walked in the doors on our new church and I decided not to play it safe. I began an in-depth conversation right away with one of the guys setting up chairs. I expected a quick change of subject, an uncomfortable look or even a recitation of Isaiah 55:8-9. But the guy seemed just as eager to talk to me about it. We even had some fundamental disagreements about free-will and God’s sovereignty, but we weren’t debating or just conversing for its own sake, we were bringing these subjects into articulation, and subsequently considering what these doctrines meant about how we were to live our lives. It was exhilarating.
The next day, we went on a walk with this church and again, I found myself deep in theological discussion with two members of the church. It didn’t feel like a one-way conversation, where I was imposing this on people who would rather discuss something a little more politically correct. In fact, I was being asked these things and the conversation was being pursued just as excitedly by them. Other members of the church didn’t avoid us like the plague- but it seemed very normal and standard to them.
We became addicted to fellowship very quickly. It made logical sense to open up to such people. Here were people who were actively pursuing the application of God’s word in their lives. Church members, even the pastors, felt no qualms about seeking criticism and constructive input in how they could live holier lives. They wanted correction. Rather than keep me at a safe distance – they wanted me to use the gifts and insights God had given me to help them. And I found the insight and gifts God had given them easier to receive – seeing this tremendous benefit.
This is the budding of fellowship:
In short, fellowship with others begins with an honest, open, obedient relationship with God rooted in the truth of his Word. How we share that relationship with others—how we wrestle with understanding truth and struggle to apply it to our lives—is the essence of fellowship. Thus, fellowship has one source and two channels. The one source is God. The two channels—both to be understood in the light of Scripture—are the work of the Spirit directly in our hearts, and the work of the Spirit through other believers.
Fellowship is a foundational aspect of the Christian walk. I hope to continue to explore fellowship – looking at accountability, church life, small groups and dealing with a lack of fellowship.
Part two here.
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