Comments on: Weekly Links: Gas Prices, Wesley Snipes, Evolution

By: thainamu

thainamu — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:15:08 +0000

I agree with Wheaton’s decision and I admire them for sticking to their policy about divorce even though the tide of public opinion will likely be against them. His refusal to give reasons to the college for the divorce might mean he doesn’t want to admit his own guilt in breaking his marriage vows. Or, it could mean he wants to protect his former wife. Or, who knows? But if he refuses to talk, then he’s got to accept the consequences of that–and apparently he has.

Wheaton’s policy is a good one. Other Christian organizations and churches should copy it.

By: Chris A

Chris A — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:19:03 +0000

On the Wheaton divorce policy…I will not say whether I agree or disagree because I am not sure whether I do or not. But I will say that I do promote transparency in the Christian community. Some things are private, but marriage is not. In the Christian sense, marriage is a covenant between two families and recognized by an audience of witnesses. That doesn’t mean married couples should not have their privacy, but if the covenant is to be broken I think ideally the reasons should be disclosed because it has an effect on everyone.

By: Jew

Jew — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:22:01 +0000

Thainamu, I agree with you. I like Wheaton’s policy. I hope that Wheaton does more than just enforce this policy after the fact; if Wheaton cares deeply about marriage, does the college offer counseling, reduced workloads, and sabbaticals for professors whose marriages are in crisis? I spent about 60 seconds browsing the school’s website but couldn’t find an answer to that question.

By: Thainamu

Thainamu — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:15:23 +0000

I am acquainted with a Christian organization which originally had the policy that if their members divorced, both parties had to resign, regardless of fault or any mitigating circumstances. That was wrong, IMO, because in some cases, divorce is the fault of one party and not the other (in spite of the fact that we are all tempted to feel guilty and judgmental when we do in fact, make such a judgment). Fortunately, that policy changed and now the not-guilty party may stay in the organization if he or she has been examined and found to indeed be not guilty.

As for policies at Christian organizations that try to help foundering marriages–that would be a good idea. (But it might be hard for people to admit there is a problem and take advantage of such polices in an attempt to save face. Lots of people are good at denial until it is too late.) Another good thing would be on-going policies (not just at the time of crisis) that support marriage for their members such as including spouses in social events and forbidding lengthy separations due to travel.

By: Chris A

Chris A — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:45:49 +0000

I know a pastor whose wife wanted a divorce. From his perspective, he thinks she was going through a difficult time after having a miscarriage. She stopped going to church, opting to work on Sundays instead. Eventually she told him she no longer wanted to be married, and left him. He agreed to the divorce upon the condition that he retain custody of their two children and possession of the house. He suspects she was cheating on him too.

Some of his peers thought he should step down as pastor. He contacted the organization that provides his ministerial credentials, and offered to step down if they wanted him to. They did not ask him to so he stayed as pastor, where he remains to this day. Some ministerial associations do require a sabbatical for those who divorce. Others completely revoke your credentials.

A guy in my church said he could not be a deacon for a certain denominational church because his wife had been divorced prior to marrying him. He thought the policy was hypocritical because the pastor was allowed to stay in the church after he cheated on his wife. Had they divorced as a result of it, he would never have been allowed to remain the pastor.

By: Don Emmerich

Don Emmerich — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 05:47:03 +0000

Thanks for the N.T. Wright link! A great interview.