To me this is an interesting topic for a number of reasons. I think we almost have no choice but to come to the conclusion that marriage is a dying institution in our western culture. The implications are profound in many economic and political arenas to say nothing of societal and personal ones.

I’m one among millions who have tried to analyze why people don’t get married and why they don’t stay married. The list is long, complicated and varied–there isn’t just one easy-to-fix reason.

And, sad to say, the divorce rate for Christians is equal to the rest of society. Why is that?

First, while there are many reasons why people don’t get or stay married, most of them can be reduced to a couple basic principles. One, today’s Western free society puts a premium on pleasure over responsibility (hedonism) and two, people have hardened their hearts. I wonder if what we see today bears any similarities to the culture that Noah was rescued from.

Second, regarding surveys that show the divorce rate for Christians is as high as non-Christians: while not an excuse or complete reason, I imagine that those poll the entire spectrum of “Christian,” from very conservative God-fearing folks to the most extremely liberal, pluralistic Christians-in-name-only. Plus, add in the despicable “prosperity gospel” churches (which are very very numerous), then is it any wonder that “Christians” have such a high divorce rate? Take the prosperity gospel, for example. If God wants you to be healthy, wealthy, and successful, how does a mediocre marriage fit into that ideal?

On the anecdotal side, personally I’ve never attended a church with divorce rates anywhere near what the surveys say. So, I believe that if you narrow the survey range down to theologically-sound believers, rather than the 45-50% that you now hear, you would more likely get in the 10-20%. Still too high, but more accurate to where true followers of Christ should be. Many of the “mainstream” churches of today will hear Jesus say “Depart from me, I never knew you.” Very sad.

Likewise, no church I’ve ever attended had divorce rates anywhere near that high either, and for the Christian organization for which I work, almost (but sadly, not quite) unheard of.

Here are a few of my reasons for the death of marriage:
1. Society says it is OK to have kids without marriage more than before.
2. Women don’t depend on men for their economic wellbeing as much as they used to.
3. The common thought that if something is broken, it is cheaper/easier to get a new one than to fix the old one.
4. And this is one of my favorites: the wrongheaded idea that romance is what keeps a marriage together. I could get on my soapbox here, but I’ll try not to except to say that romance in marriage is the reward for doing all the hard work to get along with someone.

If the rates of divorce among regular church goers were as low as thainamu’s and Darius’ anecdotal data suggest, it would have an impact on the surveys (even if they are only a quarter of the “born-again” group). Also, mainstream churches typically have a slightly lower divorce rate than conservative ones.

The bottom line is that this is one of the many areas where the American Church has failed miserably.

Him: When are you going to have a baby?
Her: Well, I’m working on getting married first.
Him: Don’t you know it’s the 21st century? You don’t have to get married. You can have a baby if you want!

So we have to look outside of your answer for what brought us to this point. What did the 60’s and 70’s bring us? The sexual revolution, radical feminism, and the lot. In a word, hedonism; the like of which had never been seen in this country before. All of this was enabled by a period of prosperity, technological advance (especially with entertainment and media), and relative peace that had also not occurred in this country previously. When a society is as carefree and prosperous as America was in the 60’s, it tends to get into moral mischief. Say what you will about wars and recessions, but they do make us more fully appreciate the important things in life and ignore the peripheral.

Take it from a father of two raising them with no mother, And it works out great.